I don't know what it is lately but people who are constantly negative and judgemental are really on my last nerve. I feel like some days I log onto facebook or get on the phone and I am totally inundated with negative energy.
They complain about everything. Nothing is right in their worlds. I feel like they go in search of more and more things to be angry and righteous about. If they can't find things in their own homes, they get on the internet and find other people's problems to get in a tizzy over. It is a non-stop rant. It's just obnoxious.
My life sucks right now. Honestly, if I think too hard about it, I doubt I would get out of bed. It is to the point that I am actually going to my doctor to get on drugs. What the heck? Everyone else is on them. Life overwhelms you? Pop a pill. Things got you down? Here's a nice prescription to take the edge off. Nobody "deals" anymore. Nobody fights to pull themselves out of a funk. Let me clarify, I am NOT talking about people with chemical depression. No amount of self-help is going to change that kind of depression. I'm talking about the 90% of the people who are on meds for anxiety and depression. Sorry, but there is no way that many of my acquaintances are chemically depressed.
I want in. I want to pop my happy pill and not think. I want to chemically alter my brain so that things that should stress me out and demand some action no longer seem like such a big deal. I want to be able to read these peoples' miserable statuses and listen to them on the phone and feel nothing. Then I want to read their statuses about what positive, happy, giving people they are not not have my eyes pop out of my head. Maybe that's the real issue. The biggest drama queens are the ones who profess to hate drama. Really? If that's the case, why do you dredge so much of it up?
I work out every day to produce endorphins to help myself. I actually eat mood-boosting foods (yes, there ARE such things) when I feel myself giving in. I meditate, I practice yoga, I read, I take "time-outs" when I feel my anxiety building. I think I'm over it. I'm so tired of trying to fix myself when the answer lies in a little brown bottle. I'm going to join the ranks of the miserable.
Our society is primed for it. Everyone wants to complain and do nothing to change their miserable lives. Years ago, people understood, their reward was a direct result of their effort. Now everyone wants to sit home, rant and have a wonderful life. Sorry, it doesn't work that way. Rich people are rich because they work their butts off to be successful. Happy people are happy because they choose it every day and work toward it. Healthy people are thin because they work out every day and monitor what they put into their bodies. Educated people are smart because they choose to spend their money in school rather than on nonsense. On and on the list goes. You reap what you sow.
I've always chosen to overlook the negatives in my life. Every day I wake up and before I even open my eyes, I state some thinks I am thankful for. It could be the dumbest little thing but you know what? I could have NOTHING. No matter how bad I think my life is, there are thousands of people who would give anything for it. I try so hard not to be spoiled and take it for granted. I try so hard to remind myself that despite the difficulties in my marriage, it could be a WHOLE lot worse. My mind never stops. Whenever one negative, self-pitying thought strays in, I replace it with two positive ones. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the drugs are the answer. Maybe I could feel calm and positive by ingesting the feelings rather than working so hard to achieve them.
Maybe once I'm on my happy pills everyone else's hypocrisy won't bother me at all.
