I know so many people who say they do not judge people and do not want to be judged. It may be on appearance, beliefs, parenting style, lifestyle, whatever but they emphatically believe they should not be judged on the surface.
Ironically, these same people are constantly labelling everyone. They describe people physically first, condemn their choices and basically put them down based on what they perceive. Every word that comes out of their mouths is vehement and filled with righteousness. For the life of me, I do not understand this.
You want understanding. You want acceptance. You want compassion and patience and yet you immediately describe and dismiss everyone based on what you see. The funniest thing? They truly believe they are open, non-judgemental people.
Mostly on facebook I see this. People who are constantly preaching that we should all be allowed to be our own people are constantly posting statuses downing people. I don't know if they're angry. I don't know if they really don't see that what they are doing is EXACTLY what they don't want done to them. Is it immaturity? Is it shallowness? Is it really possible to be that emotionally and intellectually stunted that you are not putting this together?
I have been told, by more than one person, that when they looked at me and listened to me speak, they assumed I would be a snob. They felt inferior to me before they ever got to know me. They said it was a vibe that I project. This bothered me so much. Especially when more than one person told me this. Especially when men and women said this too me. What the heck does that mean? I can't help what I look like and I can't control how I sound. I was so worried that I was throwing off some aura that I was totally unaware of. I don't want people to be intimidated by me. I am probably the least intimidating person I know and it really hurt me that people are looking at me and thinking I'm a snot.
These statements, thankfully, were always followed with the comment that I am NOTHING like I appear. The men and women who have said this to me, said that once they got to know me, I am the most down to earth, laid back person they know. They also said it was weird because people that they met who seemed really nice ended up being snobby once they got to know them.
One of the biggest things I teach my children is to never judge, anybody. They had this habit of coming home and "describing" kids as part of their stories from the day. "So mom, this 'dirty' kid today...." or "mom, this 'goth' kid....." It took a LONG time but I finally drilled home the point that I do not want stories prefaced with a label. Just "a girl" or "a boy" will suffice. We have no idea why any person is the way he or she is. We don't have a clue what obstacles they overcome just to wake up and go about a day.
I despise when people label others. Dirty, drug addict, alcoholic, slut, poor, rich, stupid, etc. are all words we don't do. I don't know why people are the way they are. I don't know what drove them to cope with life in the ways they choose. I don't care. I judge you on your behavior, not your words, not your address, not your bank account.
Ironically, the people who profess to be the open ones are the ones who are turning me off the most. Every day, they label and judge and then justify why. They spin it so in their minds they are superior in their judgement. They are not doing what they are calling others out on because they are doing it differently or in a non-judgemental way. They are not being mean. They are not downing. Wrong.
Guess what? The minute you put a title on a person, you have judged and labelled. Every time you criticize another person for ANY choice they make in his or her life, you have judged. When you preface a status about someone with a physical description, you have judged. When you dare to speculate on someone's lifestyle, appearance, parenting choices, political affiliations, religious beliefs, healthcare choices, etc. YOU are doing exactly what you hate everyone doing to you. It's a two way street and until everyone realizes that, this kind of criticism is never going to abate.
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