No Sleep For Me

I was so exhausted.  I have been yawning since this evening but there will be no sleep for me for quite some time.  Anger has a way of motivating one to overcome the most basic of needs.

I am done.  I am done.  I am done.  I am done.  If I write this enough will that motivate my pathetic self to move?  If I realize how useless this man-child I am with really is, will that motivate me to move?

My happiness is within my power.  My happiness is within my grasp.  It is beyond time to stop whining about my situation and change it.  How long has this been my pathetic rant?  Months.  I went from hope and belief that my marriage would make it through our "bumps" and be the loving union it was to an absolute certainty that this man is insane.

I am all done taking responsibility for any of this.  I am all done shouldering blame for things I am blameless.  He is crazy.  That is our problem.  I have been patient.  I have been supportive.  I have been understanding and now I am just fed up.

Some people cannot change.  They are so busy blaming everyone around them for their behavior that they never realize it just might be them.  They are so busy looking for reasons to excuse themselves for their rotten personalities that they forget that everyone has potential for growth.  Everyone needs work.  Everyone can find what is wrong in them and work on changing it.

I have reached my quota of delusional immature people.  I am beyond my boundaries for tolerating people berating me and talking down to me with no consequences.  I am sick to death of being nice for the sake of being nice.  I am done trying to find the good and light in everyone and help everyone.

I need to help myself.  I need to get my head out of my ass and move forward with my life.  The hell with waiting for everyone to catch up.  They don't deserve to be with me on my journey.  They don't deserve to be in the same room with me and I'm all done dumbing myself down and tolerating mistreatment in the name of peace.

My husband treats me worse than we have ever treated any dog.  He speaks to me like his worst enemy and when I call him on it, the only response he can come up with is, "Ohhhh....but you treat me well?"  No.  I don't.  I hate him.  He hates me and trying to make something work that should have been shot to death years ago is stupid and useless and just dumb.

I am done.