The doctor's appointment went pretty well. My husband wanted me to go with him but I declined. I felt like the mother hen. He's practically 45 years old and I thought it odd that I would have to be his mouthpiece. The doctor probably would have thought I was insane. Why would I speak for him like he was my child?
We did come up with a list of issues to be addressed. I wanted to make sure he didn't just blow this off. When I told him to bring the lab results from our life insurance company, he initially refused. I lost my ever-living mind. I really blew up. I told him his embarrassment and shame over our financial mistakes put undo stress on us for years. Ignoring the problem made a mountain out of a molehill and when we finally addressed the issues, the problem was remedied in a half hour. He really has a childlike mindset. If he does not acknowledge problems, they just don't exist.
I told him that was the whole reason for the visit. The doctor needed to see where to focus. He said he wanted "new" bloodwork and they would go from there. I know how he thinks. The new bloodwork would turn out better because he's been more careful and then the whole issue is miraculously over. Not this time. I yelled (loudly) and ranted. I told him he just doesn't get that he is a father and a husband that that he is the grown-up in this family. I said he had no clue what that responsibility meant.
Then I told him to do what he wanted. I said I have a life insurance policy that is perfectly valid and if he drops dead I will have more than enough money (the new polices were just to bundle our insurances and save money). I said I have prayed and prayed for an answer. I am always on the fence and undecided what to do with my marriage and maybe this was God's way of taking the matter out of my hands. I can't make him do things that make sense. I can't make him want to be healthy and live a long life.
As brutal as my ploy was, it worked. I left it at that and dropped it. He brought the lab results and talked about every single issue on the list we had come up with. He even had to talk about this stuff with the nurse first (who he knew vaguely from around town). Apparently she was pretty hot so he was mortified (hot in a hard, fake-boob kind of way) and he was appalled but he did it. Then he talked about it all again with the doctor.
He does need some follow up tests but the doctor was very reassuring. It turns out that a lot of the issues could be digestive. If things aren't digested properly, it can really mess up your whole body (makes sense). Of course, the doctor could see where one level was very high but another was low so they kind of balanced eachother out. These were the answers he needed. I can only research so much on the computer. I don't know what the heck I'm looking for so I can only repeat what the computer says about each number.
He got a couple of prescriptions, which he filled right away and started this morning. This is BIG for him. Usually he will not take pills, of any kind, for any reason. It shows me he is really committed to getting to the bottom of his problems and that makes me happy. Ignorance is a huge pet peeve of mine. Life happens. Ignoring it doesn't make things less real and people who do that drive me nuts.
So, all is good. We will know more after the next round of tests but my mind is eased and so is his. I could actually see the relief on his face. I told him his face looked so happy and relaxed yesterday. It's been so long since I've seen that look. Of course, I told him that this could have been settled a year ago when I told him to go to the doctor (hey, I'm not perfect and I had to rub it in a bit).
Then I told him that both things that were such big huge embarrassments to him that he put off and ignored ended up being so simple and not shameful at all. The doctor made him feel that none of this stuff is out of the ordinary. The few things that were wrong were countered with amazing health for a guy of his age on every other point. He actually felt really proud of that. We do live an overall healthful lifestyle and he was really happy to have the doctor acknowledge that he can see he tries to take care of himself.
It's just a good day, for all of us today.
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