Never Say Never

My husband and I have a policy, we never say never.  We especially apply this to our children.  We never assume that we will or will not do something when it comes to our kids.

I can remember way back when, some of the people we knew with 10 year old kids were getting them cell phones.  I thought it was ludicrous, I mean who does a 10 year old really have to stay in touch with?  However, I never said, "not me."  One day my daughter went to the park.  She came FLYING home on her bike with tears brimming over her rims.  In shaky, breathless terror she told me about some girls who were picking on little kids at the park.  When she tried to intervene they turned their animosity on her.  She stood her ground but she was petrified and could not escape quickly enough.  As I was jumping in the car, my husband physically restrained me and pointed out he may be more rational to deal with the girls at that moment.  The next day both of my children had trac phones and did not leave home without them.  Never again would they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation and not have immediate access to us.

When my son joined baseball he was much older than the other kids that had been playing all of their lives.  As we sat around the ballfield we listened to parents discussing the $350 bat they had just gotten their little 11 year old slugger or the custom-made $200 glove for their prize catcher they had gotten over the summer.  I thought, these parents are crazy.  These kids are young.  How can a bat or glove improve their game?  Well, when my son, who was MUCH smaller than every kid on his middle school team was having trouble getting a decent hit guess who started shopping for a $400 bat?  His coach explained all of the reasons it would be helpful and off we went to find it.  Of course, we have always found his on clearance for around $100 but we bought them.  Darned if they didn't work too.

We do not have expectations.  We have no idea what tomorrow will bring.  I never dreamed my life would be less than idyllic.  Now that it is can you imagine my dismay if I had said, "my husband and I will never go into debt" or "my husband and I will always have a passionate, loving relationship."  I'm pretty sure I would have a much harder time with all of this if I had rules in place before life ever came at me.

Every so often we will be out with couples who have younger children just getting into the myriad of activities that kids test out in those early years.  Inevitably, someone brings up  little Johnny's parents who just bought the million dollar goalie equipment or little Mary's mom who is spending 100's of dollars on dance competitions when little Mary has two left feet.  The table soars with the indignation and insanity of it.  My husband and I just catch each other's eye and grin.  We have learned that the lady that doth protests too much is usually the one shelling out the most money in a few years and offering the most excuses why in HER case it was absolutely necessary, not indulgent.