Oh, Sweet Sleep, How I Miss Thee

I don't sleep.  Well, let me clarify.  When I actually fall asleep, I sleep like the dead.  I mean the house could burn down around me and I would not hear a thing.  I've always wondered at those "sound" sleepers because I've been the girl who hears one little thing and is wide awake.  The last few nights I totally understand this concept.

I go to bed completely exhausted.  I lie down, snuggle in and it begins.  Get the dry rub together for the ham, gather the ingredients for the mac and cheese so that can go right into the crock pot, go buy paint, find old sheets to use as drop cloths, call the senior housing, find assisted living facilities online in CT, research how to change Freedom Health insurance to one in CT, contact an elder attorney for assistance, call a social worker at the hospital to find out what I'm forgetting, walk the dog early because tomorrow is busy...and the list goes on and on and on.

I cannot shut it off.  I do relaxation techniques.  I do breathing exercises.  Sometimes I get out of bed and actually do yoga poses that settle you down for sleep.  Then I wander.  I get out of bed and walk around the house.  I feed the cats.  I let the dog out.  I go try the couch and I think.

At some point during all of this craziness I fall asleep for a couple of hours.  This is when I find out about that deep, deep sleep that so many are so fortunate to experience.  My husband has even told me I've begun to snore during this deep sleep but I refuse to believe him.  A lady would never snore.  Then I am up and the second I am, the thinking begins again.

My daughter's birthday party is today.  Once I get through today, I can check several things off of my mental list.  I can then focus on checking off things for her bedroom tomorrow.  Monday can be things for my mom.  I know that the list will shrink.  This is not the first nor will it be the last time I will be overwhelmed with my "to do" list.  I also know somewhere down the line, I will be wishing and looking for things to do.  However, with exhaustion seeping into every pore in my being, that day cannot come soon enough.