We made it through my daughter's birthday party. In my mind, that has been my goal. Get through my son's birthday, the holidays and then her birthday. Once those events were over, I was going to focus on my life.
With my mom ill now and needing help I wasn't sure how much "focusing" I would be doing. That's life though, right? There is always going to be another holiday, another tragedy, another something. I use these excuses so I don't have to make decisions. I'm always going to deal with the big issues in my life "after" whatever.
It's time. I've been so distracted lately that I've again buried the self I was getting in touch with. I was really beginning to feel differently, more aware, more alive. This last week has been chaotic to say the least. I have again slipped and stopped thinking about myself and my goals. Once again I am numb but the difference is that I am aware.
I know life has gotten in the way for a minute but I also know that does not change the fact that I have some work to do. The birthday was my "D Day" and that hasn't changed. Time to regroup and plan. After all, my life isn't going to build itself.
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