Facebook Saved My Sanity

I know Facebook has been getting a lot of bad rap.  Marriages are breaking up, couples are cheating and everyone is trying to recapture their childhood feelings of irresponsiblity and lightheartedness by hooking up with that "one that got away."

Facebook has been my life lately.  I know, that says pathetic things about me but in so many ways I really think I would be curled up in bed, refusing to come out if I didn't have my friends on facebook to play with.  I talked about the money thing and it affects everything.  A friend I haven't seen in quite a while wants to get together for dinner this week and catch up.  I told my husband.   He told me he is "trying to get our finances in order and he doesn't have money for me to go out to dinner."  Really?  We have money to go to the grocery store but not for me to go to dinner?  I get that the money is in the bank but they do have this nifty feature called a withdrawal and then the cash can be in your hand as opposed to your account.  It's just not worth arguing over.  I'm just praying this loan comes through and things can settle down in that corner.  I have a feeling that is going to be a HUGE determining factor in the future of this marriage.

I have realized through Facebook that friends I thought I had lost touch with and would never see again are turning out to be some of my very best, most-trusted friends.  I have become friends with people in my town who I knew very superficially and whom I would probably never have known any better are actually turning out to be some of my most loyal, trusted friends here.  I even have male friends from my past who are so supportive and I can really talk to and trust.  Not in a creepy, "you're unhappy and I'm going to prey on that" way but in a genuine, "you are a good person and I care about you" kind of way.  Many days I wake up just to see how hard I can laugh with one friend on there.  Ironically, I never knew him in grammar school where our "friendship" originated.  I became friends with him because we had so many mutual friends and I assumed I knew him (the name rang a bell and I'm HORRIBLE with remembering people).  Our back and forth quips are the highlight of many of my days.

People always give me a hard time.  I went to my high school reunion and so many people were like "Here's Kiraly...the Facebook queen."  I don't apologize or make excuses for being on facebook.  I don't care what people think if I post 20 statuses in a day.  I don't care what they think about those statuses.  There is a "hide" option and a "delete" option if I annoy them.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't even miss them.  I have my people I look for.  I love that I'm in contact with so  many people from my past but I know who is talking junk about Facebook and secretly checking it out all day long.  I guess it makes them feel they have more of a "real" life than those of us on there all of the time.  That's ok.  I'm quite sure they do.  My son takes our second car to school every day so I am literally homebound.  I walk the errands that are close-by, clean house, work out, etc.  If it requires a car, I'm not involved.

I would lose my mind with ZERO contact with another human being, all day every day.  Most of the people I know work so there are only so many I can talk to on the phone during the day (although I certainly make the most of the ones that are available).  Do you have any idea how lonely it is with only your thoughts for company every day?  Maybe that's why this is all coming to a head.  I spent all of 2011 not working.  That's alot of thinking time.  Everyone wants to be at home but it is boring and lonely and you can only come up with so many productive things to do.  Many days I think, "why bother?  It's the same thing day after day!" 

That's when Facebook saves my sanity.  I jump on, catch up, maybe have a little conversation, whatever.   I feel rejuvenated and can get back to the daily humdrum.  It has literally been my lifesaver.