I love Facebook. For quite a while it was my only means of socialization. I withdrew for a long time. It became too difficult to be around my friends when I was always on the verge of crying. I didn't have the energy to put on the happy face and I didn't have the motivation to move, let alone have fun. It prevented me from sinking into a major depression. I knew I was depressed and it potentially could have been bigger but just that minute or two every so often socializing with a friend on Facebook saved me from that.
Yesterday a friend shared that she had been "turned in" to Facebook for something inappropriate on her wall. My head was realing. Why didn't this person just "hide" her or delete her or at most extreme, block her? Why is this person friends with her in the first place if they find the quirkly little things she puts on Facebook offensive?
We all know our friends. We know which ones swear like a trucker in real life and when we accept that friend request we must be pretty sure they are going to swear like that in their writing. Personally I try never to write curse words. I can curse like a sailor on leave, especially when I'm fired up about something. I just choose not to write them, especially on social forums. I will use them in private messages, however. This is my choice. I would never dream of ending a friendship because someone chooses differently.
When I see some folks who curse in every single status, admittedly I do feel differently about them. There are a million ways to say things without vulgarity. If overdone, I feel it trashes you up. That's it though. I just think, hmmm...this person can't say a thing without cursing. I don't love them any less and I don't want to end a friendship over cursing. It's ridiculous.
I have a friend who never curses and when we get together, nine times out of ten, I'm swearing like a truck driver. Should we not be close because we choose to express ourselves differently? That is absurd and would never happen in the "real" world. If I hung out with someone who swore in public alot, yes, I may rethink that relationship. We all know we are judged on how we present. Is it fair? No, but it is true. I do get peeved when I'm out in public and teens are throwing around the F bomb like soldiers at war. It makes them look uneducated and trashy. They are just speaking normally and interjecting it constantly. I think, you don't look cool or mature, you look like a scumbag.
I also have friends who put lewd things on there. Surprise, surprise, they are actually like that in life. I know this. They are the people who find that naughty little humor hysterical. When we are together, they always have some joke or story that pushes the boundaries of acceptability. Why would I expect them to be any different on a computer? Are they all of a sudden going to start quoting Aristotle when they've always been a Benny Hill type of person? Highly doubtful.
We are all different. Frankly, that's what I like about friendships. I like people who challenge me to think outside of the box. People who have different opinions and present them and make me pause and think fascinate me. My friends are not clones of me who agree with everything that comes out of my mouth. Granted, there needs to be some commanality in order for the friendship to begin but then we learn about eachother and perhaps we are very different. That's ok.
I always laugh when I see people who are "cleaning up" their friends' list (and sadly, I see it ALOT). They make this big announcement, like a threat. Really? Are you 12? Grow up. Is that how you handle situations that make you uncomfortable? You just "delete" them. How about this? How about you look at the people who are rubbing you the wrong way and then look inside and figure out what is going on inside YOU. When you get so frustrated by what people are writing on Facebook, the problem is yours, not theirs. Somehow you are lacking. YOU are the one who needs to develop some patience and acceptance of others.
I always hope they will delete me when I see this announcement. I think, what kind of friend are you? If I really need someone at my back, would you be there? If you delete people just because they tick you off you are immature and have no clue what a friend is. If you report people to the Facebook police rather than sending them a quick not saying, "Gee, what you choose to share makes me uncomfortable so I'm doing to delete you here but we are still friends" then you are a coward and a child.
It's interesting to me. People are able to present to the world any person they want to be. Social media is eye-opening. I find they cannot control themselves as well on there. The "true" person shines on Facebook. I think we all need to pay closer attention to that person. The real one. The one that hides behind the computer and lets their real feelings out with hate and negativity. These are the "friends" we need to "delete" on a permanent level.
No comments:
Post a Comment